


Retry

by saltwatersweets



Category: Henry Stickmin Series (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Convict Allies Ending | CA (Henry Stickmin), Gen, Government Supported Private Investigator Ending | GSPI (Henry Stickmin), Henry Stickmin Knows about Alternate Timelines, Henry Stickmin Series: Completing the Mission, Henry Stickmin Series: Fleeing the Complex, Henry Stickmin-centric, Presumed Dead Ending | PD (Henry Stickmin), Revenged Ending | R (Henry Stickmin), Stickmin Space Resort Ending | SSR (Henry Stickmin), The Betrayed Ending | TB (Henry Stickmin), Toppat Civil Warfare Ending | TCW (Henry Stickmin), Toppat King Ending | TK (Henry Stickmin), Triple Threat Ending | TT (Henry Stickmin), Trust Issues, Valiant Hero Ending | VH (Henry Stickmin), as well as chapters, basically just a written form of henry's perspective during certain endings in the series, even MORE endings bc there just WASN'T ENOUGH, henry please get therapy, more characters may be added, so... many... endings... ahhhhhh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:48:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27342259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltwatersweets/pseuds/saltwatersweets
Summary: Henry goes down. He takes the entire Toppat Clan with him.An abandonment, a dethroning, and a general feeling of dissatisfaction.Friendship, loss, and a retreat.A resort in the middle of space, where the stars, try they might, fail to serve as suitable friends.Two partners in crime living at the top of the world, until it restarts with a choice of two options.A helicopter, a rocket, and a trio that won’t last much longer before everything eventually restarts.
Relationships: Charles Calvin & Ellie Rose & Henry Stickmin, Charles Calvin & Henry Stickmin, Ellie Rose & Henry Stickmin, Henry Stickmin & Toppat Clan Members
Comments: 20
Kudos: 93





	1. An ending, a beginning

He wakes to the faint beeping of machinery, panic smacked on his face and gasping like he just ran a marathon. 

“Hey, easy, easy!” A blonde woman exclaims to him in a thick Russian accent, pink glasses drooping down her face while her hands motioned in an effort to calm him down. “You were gone for a bit. I was able to bring you back to life.”

 _Huh,_ he thinks. _That was pretty nice of her._ He didn’t know anyone but him could really bring anyone back to life, but then again Right had been pretty badly injured after what Henry had done to him when he was supposed to be infiltrating the Airship, so.

The woman goes on to explain how his spine and arm had to be replaced, and oh, that’s why his back feels so cold. Staring at his metal hand, though, he had to admit it looks pretty sick.

“You ran in with ‘Toppat Clan,’ eh?” She says, waving a little bit with her hands right above her head. He nods. “I’ve encountered _them_ before.”

Where _are_ they, anyway? How long has he been out? The last thing he remembered was falling and falling, the sting of betrayal in his eyes, and the all too familiar smack of pain as his body hit the ground. After that, everything went dark. 

Where is _he?_ He runs to the door of the ship he’s on and sees water wherever he looks. The doctor who found him says something about how he’s still healing, but honestly, he’s never felt better. 

“They went South, if you are wondering.” She informs him when he turns to look back at her. “About ten hours ago.”

Okay. Ten hours. He could work with that. He’s stolen a diamond bigger than him in less than thirty minutes, he could find the Toppats in three hours, tops. 

There’s a button over his chest, and he hits it lightly. A pair of plane-like wings expand across his back, already dripping with fire. It’s like his entire body is preparing for his revenge.

 _“Wow,_ you are learning so quickly!” The doctor says, looking genuinely impressed. He barely has the chance to smile at her before his wings propel him in the air, the wind blows against his face, and he’s off, a man on a mission.

xxx

_He chooses to call the Toppats._

_Reginald picks up, which is surprising considering the fact that he called from an unknown number. Most ex-leaders of a world famous criminal organization don’t typically answer phone calls from random people, so for once, it seems Henry lucked out._

_Turns out, the Toppats’ Airship was quite a bit away from the Wall._

_He’s still on the fence about calling them, despite the fact that the deed was already done. If this sort of thing had happened to him a few months back, he would have just busted out of here by himself. But, hey, if he’s got friends now, he might as well ask for help, right?_

_He doesn’t know. He's still pretty new to the whole “having friends” thing. Up until just a couple months ago, he’d always worked alone. He does care about the Toppat Clan, and they must care about him. Right? That’s what friends were, right? He doesn’t know. They’re the closest thing he’s got._

_He gets a call back from Reginald, finally, after what feels like hours. They’re right outside. Thank god, if he sat here in complete boredom any longer instead of just calling it quits and trying something else, he was going to scream._

_He smiles. It’ll be good to be back home, with the Toppats where he belongs. Friends help each other out, right? That’s what friends were for._

_That’s what friends were for._

xxx

The airship crashes into the rocket with a flash of white, and he can do nothing but watch.

He closes his eyes when they collide. He’s not proud of the fact, but it’s instinct. His ears are overflowing with the sounds of screams and creaking metal. 

He wonders if he passed out. He opens his eyes, staring at Reginald and Reginald staring at him. “Well… you got us.” He says, words wheezy with cough. “Was it… worth it?”

Was it? 

Reginald droops over with a final breath, and then he is gone. 

The airship is crumbling, the world is bursting into flames around him, and Henry knows that he is dying. 

It’s nothing new, really. He’s died more than anyone he’s ever met. But this feels… different, somehow. Like an ending. Like a finalty. Like a conclusion. Not one that is good or bad, but just is.

Was it worth it? 

He doesn’t know. 

As he feels the metal that replaced his spine crackle with broken energy, as he sees the crackle of flames as the pieces of the airship fall apart and broken bodies that were people he knew, as he hears the confused and pained yells of any surviving Toppats that he once had led, it sure doesn’t feel like it.

But he got his revenge, didn’t he? That had been what he’d wanted. Reginald’s dead. That had been what he’d wanted.

He may be dying, but not here. Not on the Airship had once been his, not surrounded by all of this. He’s died on this stupid ship enough. He doesn’t want to do it again. This, all this chaos and carnage can’t be the last thing he sees. 

He’s died plenty of times by now. Just once, just this once, he wants it to be on his own terms.

It’s surprisingly difficult to force himself up the mountain. Guess that’s what happens when your support systems are slowly failing. It’s a lot less painful than one would assume; sure, it hurts, but it’s more of a dull ache than something sharp. This time, he knows that death will feel more like a sleep than a sudden stop.

He’s been through a lot worse than this.

He makes it to the mountain, and finally, finally, he can rest. 

So this is how he ends. Not with a bang, but with a breath. 

Was it worth it? Was it worth it?

He dies the same way he lived: alone.

xxx

He’s not sure how long he’s been here, stuck in this sort of limbo.

If this is some sort of ending, why is he still here, trapped in some kind of dream-like state? Why hasn’t he moved on? Is this hell? Was he really bad enough to go to hell? He’s not at all religious, but you learn a lot about death after killing and being killed.

And he has killed. A lot. Was that it? Was that what he did wrong? Normally when he did something he wasn’t supposed to, time would just restart, but it hasn’t done that yet. He’s sure he’s dead. He must be dead. It’s the only thing that makes sense.

Surely, he must have done something wrong if he wasn’t given a chance to try again. Every time he’s made the wrong choice, he’s been given another chance. Was this it? Was that how he ended, with so much and so little fanfare?

Perhaps it’s for the best. He cares for no one and no one cares for him. Perhaps it would be best if he were to die here. 

…

No.

He doesn’t want that. 

He does not want to die here. He’s lived his life out, sure, but there must be something else he can do. Everyone is dead. He is dead. He doesn’t want it to stay like this, not when there are other things to do. He won’t die here, not with this feeling of _want_ for more, something better, something where everything will work out. He won’t let it end like this.

He _won’t let it end like this._

xxx

He wakes up to the dull, grey light of the Wall, panicked smacked on his face and gasping like he just ran a marathon. 


	2. Dissatisfaction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> turns out i am the king of uploading at horrible times, lmao 
> 
> also, there is a small mention of purposefully killing oneself, not out of any self hatred, but it still might be a heavy subject matter for some. if you're uncomfy with that sort of thing, please skip from "Could he even go back?" to "He’s gone back in time before when things went wrong, even when he hadn’t died." basically just the entire paragraph, really. stay safe guys!

He decides to not wait for a transfer.

There’s some kind of vent on the ceiling above the waiting room. He couldn’t imagine a way to get up there himself, not with his hands in such thick cuffs and a guard at the door, but there’s a forlorn woman in the room with him, with hair so red it must be dyed. If he can get her to boost him up…

He signals to her, then clears his throat when she doesn’t react. She looks up at him, then to the air vent he’s glancing at, and nods. It’s easy to be quiet, he’s been doing that for most of his whole life, and clearly she understands the importance of silence as well. The vent can be easily opened using his feet, and it seems he doesn’t have to worry about the creaking of it. That makes things a whole lot easier. Crushing his cuffs on a lump of cement, he relishes in the feeling of cool air drifting on his sweaty hands.

He could pull the woman up now. She’s probably waiting for him. It wouldn’t be hard, so long as they could be quiet, and she did help him out. He should help her. He should help her.

He moves closer, not wanting her to feel abandoned like he had been, but-

_(His hand clutching to another, being dropped into a sea of unforgiving, freezing water, a horrible mixture of terror and hatred and anger welling up inside him before everything went black.)_

He flinches, a full body motion that leaves him trembling like the ruffled feathers of a frightened bird.

He can’t go back. He can’t trust her. The last time he trusted someone, it got him killed. Twice. He’s learned his lesson. It’s better to just be alone. He’d rather hurt someone first than let them hurt him. He can't trust her.

He leaves the complex, and leaves her behind.

_(She’ll remember that.)_

* * *

So apparently _that_ was a mistake. 

She (Ellie, that was what she’d said her name was, right?) was capable of a lot more than he thought. Not even he had been able to bust himself out of prison without dying a quite a few times in the process, and honestly, that was pretty impressive. 

Her skills didn’t necessarily work out for _him,_ though, considering the fact that he had been left behind by the Toppat Clan. Again. He’s beginning to sense a pattern here. That was annoying, he had grown to like a few of the members there. 

He’s not really sure what to do now. He escaped and survived, sure, but he’s lost his Clan. Most of them, at least. Thomas and Geoffrey are their names, he thinks, as well as a prisoner he’s _sure_ he must have met before now. What was his name? Dave or something? All of them are either even scrawnier than he is, or a fair bit older than him. 

Needless to say, the four of them are hopelessly outmatched.

Geoffrey’s earlier words ring in his head. What now? 

_Is_ there really anything to do now? He’s lost most everything, and he doubts he’d be getting it back anytime soon. His only supporters consist of two now exiled members and someone he’s sure would be happy to leave them all behind the moment he had the chance. And things had been going so well…

If there were really only two Toppats that even enjoyed his months of leadership, was siding with them even worth it? 

Maybe he made a mistake some time earlier. He did have plenty of choices all those months ago when he was first assigned to take the clan down, maybe he could make one of those. His whole reason for choosing being leader of the Toppat Clan was out of a higher trust of thieves than the government, but if allying with the thieves was going to become a problem for him, then maybe it was just better to listen to the government.

Jeez. _That’d_ be a first.

Does he really want to start over completely? Last time had been in an act of desperation, a desire for _anything_ else that utterly overrid whatever was left of his consciousness, but he’s perfectly fine here. A little scruffed for sure, thanks to his crash through that guy’s cell, but certainly not dying. Everything went to shit in the span of two seconds flat, sure, but he’d be lying if he wasn’t a little curious as to how this would play out.

Even then, though, it’s not really like there’s anything for him here. If he attempts a normal life, he’ll be imprisoned. If he goes back to the Toppats, he’ll be killed. Waking up in the Airship is his best option at this point. 

Could he even go back? Did he need to die first or something? He knew the feeling of death better than he knew the back of his hand, and he has no doubt he’d be able to find a weapon in his pocket to do himself in quickly. The others would certainly be confused, and surprised, and incredibly panicked, but it would only last a few seconds before he faded and was able to start over. He’s never died on purpose before unless it was out of pure spite, but really, it couldn’t be hard. 

Or maybe he didn’t need to kill himself to go back? He’s gone back in time before when things went wrong, even when he hadn’t died. All that had taken was the feeling of _Shit, that’s not what I wanted to happen_ and suddenly he was back to where he was before he made that decision, so maybe just the want for change was what he needed. It certainly would hurt less to try than the other option.

He closes his eyes hard, and _wants._

For a moment, nothing happens, though he’s sure the others are very confused. He wants harder, determination and desire filling his thoughts. He won’t let it continue like this. He doesn’t want to stay here, he wants to start over and have everything be okay. He won’t let it continue like this.

* * *

He wakes up in a very familiar helicopter, to the faint whirring of its blades and the captain explaining the situation to him for the second time. Time to listen to him this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's certainly ONE reason to want to become a legal person... ugh the next one is gonna be SO LONG and will take FOREVER 
> 
> i definitely want to say that henry's being a major hypocrite here. he focuses a lot on the fact that reginald betrayed him, but doesn't really seem to understand the fact that he betrayed the government in both this and last chapter, and in tcw he betrays ellie as well. granted, there certainly wasn't as much trust built between him and the government/ellie where there was with him and reginald, but he's still not recognizing how he's really not the only victim here. reginald had his reasons to throw henry off the airship in the betrayed ending, and it certainly wasn't right, but henry's nowhere near perfect. i think he gets that, but he's naturally a pretty selfish person, since he's never really met anyone who cares about HIM enough for him to want to care about _them_ too. i'm trying hard to make him a morally grey character, because although i love him a lot (hes my favorite character tied with dave!) he's got a long way to go before he's emotionally healthy enough to really love someone and treat them as a person, and not just an ally or an obstacle. what a shame... he started to do that before everything went to shit in the betrayed. christ reginald, you managed to fuck up an already fucked up person EVEN MORE, now he's got trust issues, you should be ashamed of yourself <3

**Author's Note:**

> so a lot of people were really saddened by valiant hero, and honestly? i get that. the music and the fact that a lovable character died doing what he loved really broke peoples hearts and honestly MOOD
> 
> but revenged for me is such a different type of sad, something a lot more somber than valiant hero's :'( feeling. revenged and valiant hero are both incredibly sad endings, but they're different. valiant hero is heartbreaking, but for me has always felt bittersweet. charles is gone, theres nothing to be done about that, and it sucks, but at least he went out doing something he loved. he went out with a bang, literally, and chose to sacrifice himself for a friend he cares about. from this day forward, he'll always be remembered as a hero, someone who gave his life for someone else, with a beautiful grave overlooking the sun, somewhere peaceful
> 
> revenged isnt like that.
> 
> revenged holds the same sadness, but its different. the feeling you get from revenged is something that sticks (pun intended) with you, because theres hardly anything happy about it. sure. he completed his mission. he got his revenge. but at what cost? was it worth it? the entire toppat clan is dead, he's dead, and he dies the same way he's been since the beginning: completely alone. he goes out with simultaneously great but little fanfare, peaceful but drawn out. there was no sacrifice, just anger and hurt and death. at the end of the day, hes hardly remembered as someone, and he dies without anyone there to miss him. charles is missed, but we never find out what happens to henry after he draws his last breath on that hill. its a surprisingly sobering ending where nothing good happens, and it fucking WRECKS me
> 
> revenged always gets me bc no one cares about henry and henry cares about no one. charles had henry and galeforce and maybe a few others in the government he was friends with, and dies while talking with a friend, but henry's dead in revenged is just quiet, like theres nothing more to be said. the fact that its the last ending in completing the mission chronologically in the menu shows a lot about how it feels like such a conclusion. all the other endings make you think of more adventures to be had, crimes to commit or stop, and life to be lived, but everything just sort of... stops, in revenged. that's it. that's the end. there's nothing more to do, nothing more to say
> 
> thank GOD for timeline fuckery, huh?


End file.
